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Last UpdatedDec 21, 2018
Challenges of Online Dating for Those Divorced with Kids
Dating after divorce can be tricky. It is especially difficult if one has kids. Dating can be quite a rollercoaster ride. One not only has to overcome their own anxiety and fear but also has to make their kids emotionally ready. The challenges of dating as a divorcee with kids are quite unique and need to be handled with a lot of tenderness and care.
Here are a few common challenges and ways to deal with them as a divorced parent who wants to try out online dating.
When to begin dating again?
A divorce can be one of the most difficult experiences one will have. It alters life completely and requires one to begin everything all over again as a single person. It becomes more difficult when kids are involved. Not only does one have to try to heal themselves but also help their children cope with the change. It takes time to recover emotionally and psychologically. In most cases, people recover from the chaos of divorce in about six to twelve months. This, of course, varies from case to case. Moreover, the recovery time also depends on how long two persons were married and the circumstances of the divorce.
For a recently divorced person, dating is perhaps the last thing on the mind. This is especially true for newly divorced parents. However, some enter the dating field readily to distract themselves from their ex-partner and to get a boost in self-esteem. According to most experts, a divorced parent with school-aged children should wait for about a year before they start dating again. Dating too early may cause more emotional turmoil for the children as well as self.
Will the kids be okay with their parent dating again?
The finalization of divorce is often cathartic for many. Once the divorce papers are signed, some are often relieved that they can move on with their life. However, the situation is quite different if children are involved. Once the divorce has been legally finalized, children have to deal with family transitions. This can be emotionally exhausting. With the parents moving out of the family home and living separately, children have to deal with a lot of changes in their daily routines. Some children may even have to work toward adjusting in a new neighborhood, school, and peer groups. A newly divorced parent may experience relief, but children often start to feel overwhelmed in the initial days.
Moreover, children may go through a lot of emotional upheavals if they see their parents dating other people. This is why it is essential to consider whether it will be difficult for the kids to accept their parent dating again. Even if the parent is ready, the children may not be. Before looking for dates, it is important to have open communication with them. Ask them about their fears and anxieties. Empathize with them and assure them that it is okay for their parent to date again and that it will not change anything between them. It is important for a divorced parent to reassure their children that they will always have the highest priority no matter what.
When to introduce a new partner to the kids?
It is usually recommended to wait for a relationship to be serious before telling the children about it. Serious implies that the two persons have been exclusively seeing each other for six months or more. One should have a talk with their children before introducing the new partner. Give them time and do not force them to accept the relationship within a short period. Also, it should be noted that a new partner should be introduced to the children only if there is a possibility of a long-term commitment. Otherwise, it is best to skip the introduction.
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